ive got something to take away the pain

another sunday

another futsal game at the usual 2pm segambut arena, when the sun is at its peak

the zink housing acts like a conventional oven, the spoilt exhaust fans are for decorative purposes and the pace of the game makes us wonder how a world cup in africa is gonna be like.


its usually a group of advertisers and church community friends that meet up and reminiscent our youthful days gone by. trying to be our footballing heroes, trying to be a legend for just one day, or for others, just some good exercise.

as for me, thanks to my torn ACL i usually just end up as a goalie, and quite a half-baked one since i cant hardly react with my feet to low ball situations, i aint gonna jump in and dive to save any ballz, and every player knows my weakness. But nobody wants to play there anyway unless their shit tired, and i pay my share of RM12 everytime, so nobody complains.


the best part of being a goalie is you dont have to run so much, just a lot of standing and reacting, and you hardly have to bother about hard tackles, just hard shots, and man, some of these old fellas can shoot, age doesnt seem to reduce the power of their follow throughs.

In short, risks of injuries are lower...............or so i thought.

I get tons of head decapitating shots all the time, but there was this softer curled shot to my lower left, i seemed to have jammed my index finger onto it.

Like an evian bottle being crushed for recycling, there went my finger, compressed and popped right back out.

If hands had brains, my lefty is a total retard, it gets injured all the time, it just doesnt know how to caress a ball like my right, like a virgin to a whorehouse it keeps ramming into those shots, i might as well use my cock to stop the balls.

at the end of the day im glad i still managed to stop the shot, preventing a goal, excusing myself from the game on a higher note as compared to the time i fractured my hand in school.

again i was in goal, playing with my marching band buddies in the free school quadrangle, using the gymnast ring poles as a goal post.
all of us playing on a slightly muddy heavily unlevel grass field in our whites and school shoes.

on came the slowest of backpasses, i steadied myself to launch it back in the air,

i slipped slightly, i missed the ball completely, there was a goal, and i came crashing on my hand

i heard that internal sound nobody else could hear : "crack" , and the rest was history.



now sitting back here, trying to type without my left-index, all those f*ing F's i have to type with my middle finger (how appropriate) i realised what damon wayon's was trying to do in Major Payne when he broke a soldiers finger to make him forget about the injuries he was having.

all these injuries, sickness, it brings you back a step, makes you think clearer of what you've done and how brittle we all are.

all that shit form the songs how scars remind us how the past is real

it really helps us to FEEL i guess.


ffffffffffffffin ffffffin fffffffin fffffffin Fs

the last dayz

its been raining heavily for the last two nights, and im glad for having those cool-thunderstormed-sleeps

woke up several times today, apart from taking a piss or just opening my eyes, i just kept being locked down to the bed, some force of gravity keeping me there, did not feel too tired, so i just kept my eyes closed for the sake of it.

its a wonderful feeling having to struggle on how late you want to wake up, i waited for the sun but then it was still cold, so i decided to wait for the early afternoon warm to creep in before i decided to get my day going, which is probably gonna be filled with having meals banking a small cheque and watching tele

in this big-bad-city, the pace can really get to you, everything is money, you cant even have free entertainment, and in turn time is the money, so having all this time to waste kinda makes me feel like a freakin millionaire

the highlight of it all would probably be still stuck in the bed at some god-forsaken hour when your girlfriend has to get up to the grind of things and make it to work on time.
you hear the showers, the making up, yet you cant open ur eyes because the fluorescent lights might blind you seeing that the sun aint up yet.
and just after the scent of perfume is being sprayed, you get the gentlest goodbye kiss, a very unique and comforting kiss, seing that the person is willing to give a part of their busy schedule to show some affection to someone who is still laid flat on the bed, mouth as open as fly trap and probably with drool slipping through the side lips.
still to0 flat out to return the affection, you know silently that a new day begins.

and it ends pretty well too, when you're out lepaking at some mall just looking at human behaviour and decided to head back before rush hour, the traffic is as smooth as silk and the sun starts to tilt, and the colours come out gold and you know theres is still hope in this city, this country, as faded out as it seems most of the time, the sunset and swaying trees from the occasional breeze reminds us of a golden past and hopefully a future.

myron recommends

ive been watchin a lot of movies during my unemployment, and with a less stressed-out mind i can be more objective in what i watch,

so heres some must sees:-

1. tenacious D and the pick of destiny

one of the most important movies ever made, musical, funny, plain good old motherfuckin fun


2. the pursuit of happyness

the film dat made me get a job, the whole freakin show is about the struggle of unemployment. i mean if will smith can go through all dat shit and still come out punchin and crying, hell so can i.

3. 300

theres nothing better than seeing body parts being sliced up/stabbed or ripped to pieces, all the blood, all the stylistic treatment, all the scottish accents

4. factory girl

if u never fancied sienna miller, you;ll love her here, playing Edie Sedgwick some famous icon in the 60s and Andy Warhols closest muse. Good hippie fun with all the sex and drugs and freedom. Guy Pearce was pretty cool doing warhol too, but who wouldnt be?

5. Pan's labyrinth

to be honest i havent seen it yet, but hell everybody seems to want to watch it! and i've purchased the damn dvd.


6. Liverpool vs. Man United 06/07

the most important tale of destiny. where a winning team can play absolute rubbish football and still come out on tops because fate dictates so. see how an irish player who doesnt know whether he's a fullback, holding midfielder or a cantona, score a goal at the end of the rainbow. and the most important moral of all, if you're a scouser, you're doomed to disappointment if you aint lived in the 70s.

Nana nat, nana nat.

ive done it, got a job finally, my life isnt doomed after all!

im gonna be an assitant producer for a sports tv company setting up shop in Malaysia.

alot has happened since my last post, but its probably full of anxiety and depression.

so stay posted for more positive news!