silverado

lee chong wei makes new strides into msian badminton by getting a silver in the singles of the olympics.

but everybody will remember how he missed out on the gold.

the problem with competition is, if you aint first, you're last.

be it business, sport or war.

Nobody cares if chelsea could have won the title last season, the whole point is that they didnt.....and that's why they know if they dont do it this season, then all the millions theyve been spending on will go to waste.

they finally figured it out, you need a championship manager, and they have it this time....so maybe they can figure things out.

Kicking out talent, not respecting them, and down to it all, not paying them what they deserve, always leaves you with second best.

If people start to realize that, then they'll be making strides in everything they do, be it business, sport or war.

but sometimes only a select type of people understand what true recognition is, and these guys are usually the champions in their field.

the rest, are just the first of the losers.

and i hope i dont ever become one of em.

101

i'm getting old

i sleep more often watching movies, something i'd never thought would happen to me, especially when i use to wonder how my dad would just fall asleep at the most interesting parts of an action movie.

same shit is happening to me, maybe it's the overdose of CG or my ability to endure bad storytelling.


a lot of people would say, well you're not even 30, you're still young, and obviously it comes from those who are 40 and above, it's amazing how they wake up everyday, i guess i'll only understand when i get that ancient.

but the only real thing that bothers me about aging, is the inevitable end of it all.

i've seen people who have passed away gracefully and those who weren't prepared.

how will i be in the end? i never had a problem with the concept of death whether it comes now or later, but if i do reach some phenomenal expiry date and, when i'm lying with my last breath.

will i then finally be afraid, the fear a result of never acting on your desires, and ultimate regret.

i best prepare to live a life that i can be satisfied with before i leave this world.

only ones own expectations count.

number 100

the barrier

or barriers

there seems to be too many these days

and still none of them seem to be overcome


the spider's web continues to grow as fast as we do sometimes

it's almost futile to keep trying to break through alone

we must get some help or be eaten up like the rest of the other flies.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

hello again my friend

it's been awhile since we met,

our lives might have gone in separate directions

but our faith remains the same.

some say i've changed drastically, true in some sense, but only in a more honest way.

if honesty is negative and evil, than i proclaim myself a villain.

nothing interests me anymore apart from things that are real.

the illusions, the dreams have matured.

sometimes it feels like hot dry dust, but that very dust is what we are made of and will be in the future.

the moment to seize is shrinking and it's invaluable.

it's time for a new generation and no longer do i feel the mover but more the motivator.

the only legacy left, is to leave others to lead and live out whatever little i have as loud as possible.

no regrets, no time wasted, no no's.

till the next time, you are the only one that knows who i really am, and only time will reveal who we all really are.

right or wrong.

this is real life

hot oxygen, this is real

pins n needles, this real

salted tears, this is real

silent suffering, this is real

twinkle toes, this is real

fluffy dust, this is real

rugged disappointments, this is real

thumping bass drum, this is real

moth on the wall, this is real

breaking glass, this is real

ice cold death, this is real

indigo skies, this is real

chopping board, this is real

down on my knees, this is real

blackened sun, this is real

.......................................this is real

new haven

saturday again,

and it's great not to be working.

it's great not to be shopping.

it's great just doing nothing at all.

when we were young, we used to be so eager to be on the outside of the house, to meet new friends and make new adventures.

but now when were older, we see loads of people everyday, and not all of them are interesting, the best things in life is to stay away and let silence take control.

even cleaning my whole house never felt so good, as long as there's nobody in sight nobody to bother about, just my TV on the food channels and my laptop to scribble my feelings before i forget that i actually once was a sane person.

even just the sound of my fans and my leaking pipes are enough company to keep me at peace.

because a day and half more, i continue to be enslaved.

cherish the moments.

it's about time

the weekend of weekends had just passed me by

nothing spectacular yet nothing mundane was involved

i decided to help my friend in his tattoo business and get my very first tat

on my inner right arm, yes it hurts, no the pain doesnt numb out, and i could have probably slept through it because i was so freakin tired before i got started.

apart from working 5 days a week, i drove to seremban before the tat to help my friend's mom with some household stuff, weirdly enough i would be visiting n9 the very next day to cover the first leg of the malaysian rally championships.

not the most interesting of sports but the people involved are one of the nicest in the entire world, so i think they deserved the exposure.

so fast forward flashback to sunday in the wee hours of the morning , while semi-recovering from getting inked over 4 hours i headed with my ap to bahau, a small town in the district of jempol in the freakin hell of nowhere!

it's kinda like close from the border of n9 to pahang.

and it's trunk round from around before kuala pilah to the destination which was the hotel base camp, era hotel, which sounded like the swankiest thing in the middle of freakin nowhere!

so getting in the rally mood i decided to overtake anybody i could because the sun was coming up and we kinda wasted time at one of the highway stops to try and buy KFC but the it was too freakin early in the morning and all they had was sausages and all the other shit in the breakfast package.

so obviously we didnt have any of that shit.

fastforward flashback to the rally, we reached the hotel bang on time just before the last media van headed off, i thanked the heavens that i didnt get into any accidents trying to overtake the million lorries and trailers enroute to our checkpoint.

the rally overall, good as usual, we wrapped up at about 2 something but we had to wait another 2 hours for the prize giving ceremony, so we crashed into one of the PR personnels hotel rooms.

i took a bath and changed my tat dressing, and eventually knocked out due to the exhaustion.

we got the prize giving over and done with soon enough, and we were glad to continue rallying home.

but there was something in our way.

a very big thing

a freakin mountain/hill, i dont really know what to classify it apart from being the DEVILS pimple on this earth.

it was about 20km jammed up to the top of the beast and at alot of times traffic was on a standstill, not suprising since there was only one freakin lane for each side of the traffic. talk about zero transportation development, thanks a lot sammy, i wonder why nobody gives a rat ass about you anymore.

so in short it took us only 2 hours to leave from USJ to Bahau, but it took us 2hours just to get past the mountain, and hell, there wasnt even any accidents or construction work, it was like a freakin phenomenon after getting past the summit everything was free flowing.

I hate all you drivers who cant just speed it up!!! cant you see that everybody is jammed up behind you!!!!

you will burn in hell with your car!

fastfowardflashback

at least nobody died, although we wanted to see blood, so went on to head to the senawang exit of the north-south.

and while we were crossing the overhead bridge we could see the entire highway jammed up,

we flipped , we cried, we laughed, we were glad the opposition are slowly leveling things up.

we even almost ran out of fuel.

it was the worst of driving experiences it was the best of driving experiences.

i know i'll never forget it, but i figured i jot it down just in case i did.


FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK all the useless drivers and transportation planners out there.

for this moment

i never thought i'd have a window just to myself, in the midday that is.

just waiting for things to get on, when ur so caught up with work all the time, it's difficult to appreciate time wasted.

coz its money, and sometimes more than that.

but i guess those who can afford to throw time away are rich in it, or just unwise.

i havent a clue which category i fall into, but for sure, i'm running out of things to do if i dont have my trusty playstation or good old music CDs (seeing that i hardly buy newer CDs like all other old farts)

excitement has to come at a much higher cost,

this beast cant be held down by the everday lifestyle of a modern day slave,

its time to get out and live it, and fall back down to deepest pits in order to get back up again and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i even bore myself to sleep blogging.

but i guess i'm just passing time.

i see trees that are green

and a shitload of kap chais

all over the place, all over the time

and i think to myself, its still a wonderful world.

-try this system in KL and maybe just maybe things can get moving,

-no scrap that idea, we'll just end up with a hell of a lot more people dying not only by road accidents alone.

not always great when ur in foreign lands on work, i'd so like to grab a ak-47 and start blowing shit up, but i guess it's not doable.

food, some are good some aint that great, ppl are always nice in these regions, i think they went through enough shit to know that life is shorter by being an asshole.

SO all the assholes i know out there take note.


big ass notes are suprisingly still more fun than coins

-there is some freedom and there isnt

but the essentials are all you need in a place like ho chi minh, your own beer and football on the tele

kudos to communism that works like here, cuba and singapore.

if more people care about others, then it'll truly be

a wonderful world

do you remember the days

do not bring us to the test but deliver us from evil

the words that was input to my mind even before i could understand it.

i alwyas thought what test? like the test in schools? i didnt like those so maybe jesus did have a point.

fastfoward 20 years, i can still remember it word for word, and i can't account the numerous times we have been put to the test, and you know it just didnt stop after SPM.

but after getting through deepest of shits, maybe they should change the line to :

bring on the freakin tests and fuck evil in the face.

coz there is so much to learn and the best moments come in the most trying of those.

(yeah yeah i know its all about the apocolypse)

but maybe it's just some sort of stay safe method that saves people from more depression.

whatever it is, i know a played a game of football without boots,

my foot is hurt, but my heart keeps beating.

if there never was another hole to fall in,

i'd rather die now than worry about living.

runs-ing out of time

Everytime i hear a tune from the 80s, however cheesy or corny it is, i just totally get into it,

i'm more into it then i ever was when i was a kid, in fact i was probably more into pop ular music back then.

but nowadays you can play any crap from what Michael Mann would use in a movie, with all that pornstar saxaphone, and i'm lifted into a higher state of euphoria.

it all boils down to nostalgia i guess, it's the fear of getting older or maybe the pressures of knowing that it's prime time now, no suckin on your mamas tit anymore.

i do feel old, i get tired faster, more emotional, cranky and cheap. And people always tell me that i'm young, obviously those who are older than me and are even more afraid of being labeled ancient, but you know you guys are,

because there are a whole other bunch of psychotic teens coming out from the computer age who are more violent and sex driven as ever,

they don't even know the meaning of politics just the controversies and they'll do anything to prove that their different, if it means listening to crappy music and loving crappy movies and dressing like chimps.

but weren't we any different when we were young?

all i know is, i've been shitting water for the last 3 days, the doc says it's a gut infection and that usually only tourist get it.

so i know my time is running out, the only thing i was ever known for my whole life was to digest any form of solid in my stomach be it titanium.

now im just an old geezer losing all the good bacteria in my intestines.

but thanks to the doc, i've got semi-solid turds thus far thanks to some medication.

so there's still hope.

time to chug some vitagen.

cant seem to remember

there always seems to be many interesting things to write about,

but if you don't get it down fast enough, it just gets swept away in the short term memory of your brain.

i could have swore i had a million things to write about, but i guess it wasn't that interesting after all for me to even remember.

one thing i do remember is going to KLCC,

it's been awhile for me seeing that there are many other places to go to nowadays and i'm not desperate to see the latest pumps jimmy choo has to offer (yup i just noticed his shop)


but something really shook me as i stood on the second floor looking down and up at the big concourse and all the people moving up and down, well actually the building itself was moving

*pause

just remembered that tower records does not have their wall listening stations anymore, which makes me wonder, why the fuck not? it's not like their gonna get more people buying stuff after that.

*un pause, just had to write it down before i forgot.

and so the ground beneath me was actually shaking, like KLCC always does, it's still a magnificent structure that we take for granted and i guess it kinda speaks to you, the bigger and stronger you get, you still have to sway or else everything just shatters.

What the Fokk

Bought a 9.99 flight back home from penang to subang.

it was about 50 bucks actually after tax, but that's as cheap as you can get, to SUBANG, i love the old airport, coz it makes fokkin sense.

And riding on a Fokker is not that bad, it's not too fokkin noisy, it's not to fokkin bumpy, there's a shitload more legroom compared to the fokkers at airasia.

the only thing is that it fokkin stinks of some fokker taking a fokkin dump.

but after a while your fokkin nose gets used to it.

It slower than your usual fokkin conventional planes, but i enjoyed the fokker.

i get to land in fokkin subang and that's fokkin excellent.

It's basically the start of a new fokkin adventure.

the good thing about

writing a blog is that now I find that i can look back at my previous years and see what the hell i was doing or how i was thinking.

Looking back at January 06 and 07 i noticed there was a lot of football talk, which does wonders for my job now, i actually remember what happened a year ago,

and i havent been writing about football since it became my work, but i think i need to continue what ive started for the sake that deep down it is my most loyal thing in the whole world,
parents get divorced, cars and houses get better or worse, but a man's football club always remains the same,

unless of course you're a lesser of a man, or a frustrated scouser.


so its January of 2008, Manchester just beat Aston Villa 2-0 in the FA cup to progress to the next round, Liverpool drew with Luton 1-1, i'd love to laugh out loud but clearly Luton needed the money in the return leg and the scousers did not want to give up a percentage of their ticket sales.

*mental note, everytime this type of games happen, do put a lot of money on it coz you know exactly whats gonna happen, and it happens all the time even with MU sadly, was it Barnsley the last time?


back to the BPL, Manchester are lugging it out with Arsenal, but let me put my 2 cents worth and say that United are going to win the Champions League, nobody really has highlighted it that much, but to me they've really developed into a solid continental side, which occasionally lets some premiership teams beat them.

the BPL is going to be a tough one with Arsenal in full thrust and Chelsea are the outsiders but they have as much a chance as Manchester.

So my pick would be MU in the UCL and as fan for the BPL also.

and mark my freakin words, Mourinho will come to Old Trafford one day, it's practically Portugal already.

REVENGE is sweet.

white fur

once hyperactive and over diuretic,

not to mention horny as hell,

now senile, sleepy but still diuretic.

time flies faster for those who walk on four,

and soon i shall witness their demise despite entering the world earlier.

but there's nothing more fulfilling than leading a loyal life, i wish sometimes people could be simple, but then again i don't find licking my own butt that much satisfying.

to sweat off the tongue is as marvelous as turning water into wine.

that heat

small, curvy, bumpy roads,

they're not comfortable but they bring you places.

I've had to come from big highways to come back to these roads to remember...what Ramirez has taught me.

The hawkers, they never seem to die, they still back at their same corners, selling their same specialty, only filled with more white hair than ever, but they ain't dead yet.

And that hot hot humid heat, the breath of life that burns in my lungs still tastes drier than ever, it makes me love the darkness but also realise how cold it can be.

There is still not much vanity on the island compared to the city, people are simpler and could not give a rats ass what lies beyond the bridge.
Those of us who have left to find a bigger world, find an endless road that leads to the lives of others, though similar but far from comforting.

Let us not forget where we came from and those who choose to identify their origins, we are all part of something big but immensely diverse.

2008

I can't remember the last time I worked on the new year,

in fact i might have never had before in my life, i would've remembered because i would have had triple pay.

so guess I'll remember this new year, starting the working day in an empty industrial area, hungover, waiting to slit my wrist.

but things have flied fast in the last 2007,

and so it goes when you're too busy to think, you don't have to worry so much.

A little hour of family and booze makes everything better, and that's probably all i got, but it might be the most cherished.

Nope, coz i passed out from all the food and the boring football matches.


Let's see what was most memorable about 2007 apart from Manchester winning the premiership.

.......nah it just flew past, and i didnt end up homeless.

so all the best, my the year of the rat make me appreciate the little crumbs often overlooked.

tis the season yet again

christmas time,
year end blues,

never been so stressed,

but family's here and loved ones too,

making everything not so bad.


ive laughed, cried, shouted and suffered in silence, and i still feel in a bubble i cant break free.

so ive started something everybody's been pestering me to do,

since ive conformed to everything i hated in my youth, i might as well.

good night and good luck.

ive been robbed

the 3rd of december, was one helluva day,

my news show didnt have any mistakes, i thought what a day,

then went to go eat steamboat at aman suria, the place i always heard about that was good,

made so many wrong turns, was too busy talking, got stuck in so much unnecessary jam, finally reached the place, it was not there anymore, its now an old time kopitiam or somthing like that, starbucksy type of places that sell you kopi-o.

fuckin hungry just decided to go Uptown for some lok,lok.

couldn't get parking near DU kopitiam, so parked nearer to vichuda side, crossing the back alleys, thinking how safe this country is compared to what it looks like.

had some lok,lok some monday bah kut teh also, which is really rare. then decided to get some DVDs from ss2.

parked again a street away, more jam cause it was pasar malam. before leaving the car, thought it was safe enough to leave the bags in the backseat, because hell there aint shit in em.

cross the back alley again thinking it looks dodgy but ive been doing it for years. didnt buy much dvds, walked through the pasar malam, didnt buy shit either. wanted to go murni for some supper,

it wasnt open.

when to wong kok char chan teng instead, man it looks really barney like now.

then finally decided to walk back, through the back alleys, safe as usual, then i noticed my car light was on,

i thought shit, fuckin left it on, when in the car, kept repeatedly closing the doors and boot before me and my colleagues realised that all our bags were missing, shit

mother fucka! they fuckin stole the shit, and nothing in the car was broken they only managed to jam the boot section and stole everything from there.

everything worthless, i had no money no shit, just my favourite crappy bag ive been using to travel around australia, thailand, cambodia, singapore, indonesia......it's now its own traveller, i hope it gets sold to some backpacker who ends up in europe, may my yellor rakpack travel places further than i'd imagine, and may we meet up someday at the sunny beaches in ipanema.

abd FUCK you little petty thieves that like stealing useless pieces of crap! have you ever heard of stealing from rich people!?

if you're happy and you know it

this is what it all boils down to,

fri night, sitting alone at happy cafe,

having sliced fish in ginger onion sauce and carlsberg 100 something anniversary brew, big bottle all by myself.

listening to the beatles on the radio and watching my super ex-girlfriend on the tv.

my face, gets harder and harder each day, im starting to look like some war-torn drink seller.

IT aint easy, but i don;t give up that easily,

if it were too easy, i'd be bored anyway.

so cut the shit, tomorrow has just begun.

aight